


Partners in Crime

by Bees_in_a_davidbowie_shirt



Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber
Genre: Best Friends, F/F, F/M, Friendship, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:26:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25059220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bees_in_a_davidbowie_shirt/pseuds/Bees_in_a_davidbowie_shirt
Summary: “I really like you. Would you go out with me?”“Teazer, I also really like you, but what about Mungojerrie? Have you broken up with him?”
Relationships: Mungojerrie & Rumpleteazer (Cats), Rumpleteazer/Victoria (Cats)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Partners in Crime

**Author's Note:**

> idk why this took so long for me to write lol

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Mungojerrie draped himself over the back of Rumpleteazer.

“Hey, partner! I got a surprise for you,” He sang with a grin.

Rumpleteazer perked up. “Really? What is it?”

His response was to ruffle her head with his paw. “Dude, I aint tellin’ you! That's why it's a surprise!”

“Bro, you gotta surprise me right now if you're gonna say you gotta surprise!”

The tom just shrugged. “I was gonna save it for when we got back to the human house, but okay I guess.” He started to head off to what must have been his hiding spot for the item, before whipping back around. 

“Close your eyes!” He called.

Rumpleteazer rolled her eyes, then closed them, a grin on her face. Whenever Jerrie gave her something, it was  _ awesome _ . One time, it had been this really big fish, and it smelled a bit because he had caught it a few hours ago but saved it to share with her because he knew he wouldn't be able to eat it all. Teazer had eaten a majority of it.

There was a tap on her shoulder, and she turned towards the side that she had been tapped on.

“Haha, I’m on the other side! Tricked ya!”

“Aw, shit!” She replied, turning again. “Can I open them?” Rumpleteazer asked, and then opened her eyes before he could say anything.

She gasped just as Mungojerrie was about to protest her opening her eyes, snatching the object out of his paws. Her pupils were wide and shining, and her grin was even bigger than it had been before.

“You got me that set of pearls I saw!”

Mungojerrie didn't even have time to be angry at her, she was so happy.

“Yeah! I saw the shop door propped open today, and snatched ‘em just for ya’!”

The calico theft dropped the pearl necklace down onto the ground in favor of giving

Mungojerrie a big hug. Then she punched him in the shoulder.

“You were supposed to wait for me, so we could loot that place together!”

“Aw, love ya’ too, Teazer!”

Across the Junkyard, Munkustrap and Mistoffelees sat side-by-side on a tire. Munkustrap smiled.

“They're good for each other, you know? I don't know what the Junkyard would do if they ever broke up.”

Mistoffelees, on the other hand, frowned. 

“They're dating? I thought they were gay!”

\----

A calico Queen fiddled with her paws. She sat a little bit away from a small group of young Queens as they talked to each other, before taking a deep breath and moving over to them.

She slid up next to the white Queen, named Victoria, with a smile. Said Queen turned towards her with a smile.

“Hi, Teazer!”

Teazer smiled back at her. “Victoria, could I talk to you?”

“Of course!”

“...Alone, maybe?” Rumpleteazer added, a little quieter.

Victoria's face morphed into a more serious expression, and she nodded before following her friend away from the group of Queens. The group barely even noticed that they had left.

The two Queens rounded a few rocks before coming to a stop. Rumpleteazer turned to face Victoria.

“What is it? Is everything okay?” Asked the white Queen. She lowered her voice before continuing, “ _ Did you start your heat _ ?”

“What- No, Vicky! I just wanted to tell you something important!”

“Oh, good,” Victoria said with a sigh. “I don't know anything about that.”

“...I like you.” Rumpleteazer suddenly said. Victoria blinked, looking at her in surprise.

“Oh, I like you too! You're a good friend!”

“I really like you,” She repeated. “Would you go out with me?”

At that moment, it really clicked in Victoria's head. Her eyes widened, and she bowed her head down a little bit in thought. Rumpleteazer held her breath.

“Teazer, I also really like you, but what about Mungojerrie? Have you broken up with him?”

Rumpleteazer blinked. “What? What about ‘Jerrie?”

“Well, you're dating him! And you are always together, and I just saw you walking together a little while ago. You did break up with him, right?”

“ _ Vicky, I like girls!” _

\-----

Munkustrap sat, quiet but observant, on his perch above the old tire. 

Today, the Junkyard was strangely quiet, which could either be a good thing or a bad thing. A few of the younger kittens played, some of the elder members of the tribe watching them, but the older kittens were nowhere to be seen.

His own brother had vanished at some point, which shouldn't have been too concerning, but with the added absence of the older kittens, it concerned him. Were they getting into trouble? Stealing? Being eaten by the Pekes in the nearby yard?

Mistoffelees was napping in his pipe, and usually, where Mistoffelees was, his sister Victoria was. Today, Victoria, like the others that she usually hung around, was gone. Ever since she had become of age at the last ball, dancing her way into being a Queen, she had seemed a bit lonely. The only other cat around her age was Mistoffelees, and he spent most of the time to himself, practicing magic.

So, the young Queen was often found hanging around the older kits, all her best friends. She obviously missed them, and couldn't wait until they were as old as her, which should happen within the next moon.

The most concerning thing was the silence from the Junkyards resident troublemakers, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. They hadn't been associated with Macavity for a while now, not since the year before, but it was still concerning. The cats were still young and impressionable, and might have been roped back into working for the Mystery Cat. 

Before he could give it more thought, something slammed into his back.

Quickly, the gray Tom whipped around, claws out and mouth open, ready to attack at any minute; only to find that he had been hit by none other than Mungojerrie.

The Calico Tom looked a bit sheepish, but still had a large smile on his face. Behind him, Tumblebrutus, Pouncival, and Plato peeked the tops of their heads over a nearby wall. They looked a bit nervous.

Munkustrap sighed.

“What in the world are you doing?” He asked while retracting his claws. He tried to sound calm, but in reality the ‘attack’ and spooked him. Of course, he couldn't let the others know that; he's the Protector of the Jellicles, and is supposed to be tough!

“Ah, nothin’ at all, sir!” He responded, scurrying back. However, Plato shoved him up once again, before ducking back down. As if Munkustrap couldn't see all three of them ‘hiding’ back there.

Mungojerrie looked back again, slightly nervous, before looking back at the gray tabby.

Before the situation could get any worse, Munkustrap decided it was time to speak.

“Where's Rumpleteazer?”

Mungojerrie's eyes went wide, whether because he was trying to act innocent or he was surprised, the Jellicle Protector couldn't tell.

“She’s jus’ a bit busy right now, sir!” He chirped. “Now, the real question is, what are you up to, huh?”

It took a minute for Munkustrap to catch on, and when he did, he had to take a step back, surprised.

“Everlasting, Mungojerrie; why-”

If a cat could blush, both of them would be bright red at the moment.

“Y’know, I think I will be goin’!” He exclaimed, leaping off Munkustrap’s perch and over the other three toms. Plato and Tumblebrutus followed him immediately, looking slightly concerned. They were all adult toms, now that the Tabby thought about it. Pouncival, the only kitten in the group, looked back at Munkustrap, giggled, and then followed the rest.

With a sigh, Munkustrap climbed down from his perch. Maybe it was time for Alonzo to take his shift.

\--

Back in his den, Munkustrap put his head in his paws.

That had been the most confusing interaction he had ever had with either of the resident troublemakers.

Sure, they had both tried to steal from him. Sure, they had both tried to jump him for food. Sure, they had both asked him if they could live in the Junkyard. But neither of them had ever tried to  _ flirt  _ with him!

This baffled him to no end, and he needed answers.

\-----

Plato basically tackled Mungojerrie to get him to stop running away. This resulted in Tumblebrutus nearly tripping over him, but then catching himself before it could happen.

_ “Dude!  _ What was that?” Plato exclaimed.

Mungojerrie twisted around, looking up at Plato and trying to push him off.

“I’ll answer when ya’ get off ‘a me!” He growled. This didn't happen, because Pouncival ran into the back of Tumblebrutus, making him fall on top of Plato, and squishing Mungojerrie.

Everyone in the pile was suddenly shouting, pushing at each other, and overall yelling at Pouncival for his mistake.

Tumblebrutus rolled off, pinning his younger brother to the ground.

“Everlasting, Pounce, watch where you're going! We're trying to have a conversation here!” 

“Well, you better get off of me, because ‘Jerrie is tryin’ to escape!” the kitten replied.

Plato and Tumblebrutus looked up, catching said Tom as he was trying to sneak off through the bushes.

Mungojerrie at least looked a bit sheepish, before sitting down. His friends sat around him.

“So, as I said before,” Plato took a deep breath, looking his friend in the eye. “What the  _ hell _ was that?”

“I dunno!” He whined, arms above his head. “I jus’ kinda freaked out!”

“Buddy, I think that ‘Teazer has more balls than you at this moment.” Tumblebrutus deadpanned. 

“Maybe go for someone that you're closer to next time!” Suggested Pouncival. All three of the older toms looked at him, but he just smiled. “What?”

“Pounce, why are you even here?” Asked his brother. The kit just shrugged.

“I thought you were going to do something cool, and I wanted to see. It wasn't very cool, though.”

“No kidding,” Muttered Mungojerrie.

“What are you even going to tell Rumpleteazer now?” Pouncival continued, waving his arms around dramatically. “Oh, sorry, I just dipped out of our bet because I’m a coward and the guy I like doesn't know what flirting is, hope you had a good date with your girlfriend, goodnight!” He dropped his arms back to his side, staring the older tom in the eyes. 

Tumblebrutus gave his brother a shove.

“Okay, I might despise him, but Pounce does have a point. I thought the deal was that if ‘Teazer asks out the girl she likes, you ask out the guy you like?”

Dramatically, Mungojerrie fell onto his back. “Well, obviously, that didn't work!”

“Well, obviously,” Said someone. Mungojerrie whipped around, while the other three looked up. Above them, The Rum Tum Tugger lounged on a lower tree branch. He looked quite comfortable, as if he had been there for a while. In fact, he had most likely heard the  _ entire  _ conversation!

The large tom leapt down from his spot in the tree, landing gracefully as always. 

“Munkustrap is an idiot,” Was the first thing he said. “He's also straight.”

_ Damn it! _ Thought Mungojerrie, but outwardly he just sighed.

“He also has it in his head that you and Rumpleteazer are dating, so now he's going to corner that poor Queen as soon as she gets back and tell her that you're cheating.” 

“Maybe he could, I don't know, explain that he's not dating Rumpleteazer?” Pouncival, somehow the logical one again, suggested.

As if on cue, a Queens voice rang out near them.

“Who's not dating me?” Asked Rumpleteazer.

She had her arm hooked through Victorias, and the other Queen also looked confused.

“My idiot brother thinks that you're dating this guy,” was the response.

Rumpleteazer blinked.

“Why would ‘e think that?” She replied, confused.

Tumblebrutus spoke up.

“I mean, you two are always around each other.”

“And he gave you that necklace the other day,” Added Plato. 

Pouncival once again piped up with, “You always call each other partners!”

For a minute, the group sat around, contemplating silently. While most of the Junkyard knew that Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were just best friends, it was easy to see how they could be mistaken for a couple. All of the above points could contribute to someone thinking that the two were dating.

Finally, Rumpleteazer spoke up. “Of course we are around each othe’ all the time, we are best friends! And partners in crime! He gave me the necklace because he's my friend!”

“Well, maybe you should explain that to Munkustrap,” Said The Rum Tum Tugger.

\--

After Rumpleteazer had kissed her girlfriend goodbye and the friends had managed to shoo the group away from them, they had made a simple plan. 

They would go to Munkustraps den, and politely meow outside of it. You see, this would hopefully make it seem as though they were being nice, because their usual tactic was to just break into the den.

Afterwards, they would ask if they could come in to discuss something important with him, and he would let them come in, and they would explain that they are  _ not _ together.

It should go smoothly!

So the two padded up to the entrance to his den.

Just as they reached it, Mungojerrie turned around, but his arm was caught by Rumpleteazers paws.

“No you don't, you idiot!” She growled. “You ain't chickenin’ out this time!”

“But-” Before he could finish his protest, a gray head stuck out of the den.

Munkustrap stood there, looking confused, at the two.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

Well, there goes the first step of the plan.

“Ah, could we come in a talk to you?” Asked Rumpleteazer, while her friend sulked in the background.

As if remembering what had gone on earlier that day, the Jellicle Protectors eyes widened, and then narrowed just as quickly.

“I will  _ not  _ be helping with your relationship issues,” He sniffed.

Exasperated, Mungojerrie finally stopped sulking just to shout at the gray Tom,

“We are not in a relationship!”

Everything went silent for a minute, before continuing normally around them. Only the three were quiet, before Munkustrap waved them into his den.

Well, at least one part of the plan was working.

Inside, he crossed his arms and looked at them both in turn.

“What is going on?”

“Munkustrap, sir, we were never dating! I don't know why ya’ thought we were, but we're jus’ partners in crime!” 

“Yeah!” Added Mungojerrie. “We ‘as always been partners in crime, and ‘Teazer ‘ere ‘as a girlfriend now, an’ we never even liked each other that way!”

“...So when you were, uh…” He paused, awkwardly scratching his head.

“I was flirtin’ with ya’, sir, but not anymore.”

“You were actually serious about that?”

“Yeah. But Tugger told me that ya’ aren't interested.”

The Jellicle Protector nodded slowly. 

“Well, that's one thing he's right about,” With a sigh, he continued on to say, “Sorry about earlier, Mungojerrie. I was confused, I guess. I don't really know what I thought.”

Slightly embarrassed, Mungojerrie nodded.

“Maybe ask out someone else next time.”

Once again, the calico nodded, before turning, ready to leave in shame. However, Rumpleteazer spoke up.

“Why don't you like ‘im?” She asked.

Luckily, Munkustrap is a nice guy when he actually understands what is going on.

“‘Teazer, I’m just not attracted to toms. Plus, I have Demeter.”

She slowly nodded. Mungojerrie tugged on her arm, ready to leave, and the two bolted from the den. Before they had even completely left, Munkustrap heard them muttering to themselves, most likely already moving on to their next crime, this incident forgotten.

Munkustrap sighed, glad that the incident was over. 

\---

Mistoffelees was woken up as the sun rose. However, the light from the sun wasn't the only thing that woke him up; a clang on the top of the pipe that he slept in also made him jolt.

Normally, when the sun was up, everyone except whoever was guarding the Junkyard was asleep. Of course, this generally excused the Magic Cat, as he enjoyed being up during the day to practice his magic. 

He peaked out the pipe, to find Munkustraps legs swinging over the side, nearly kicking him in the head. Silently and quickly, he dodged out of the way and slithered up next to the Jellicle Protector on the pipe. Most would think this is part of his magic, but the young Tom is actually just really fast and quiet when he wants to be.

“Don't usually see you up here,” He meowed sleepily.

The Tom jolted, as if he had forgotten that Mistoffelees place of residence was currently the pipe. Or maybe he was just thinking.

“Well, you were right,” He responded after taking a breath.

“What was I right about?”

“They're not dating!”

“Who, Mungo and Rumple?”

Munkustrap nodded still looking a bit deep in thought, and this just made Mistoffelees laugh.

“I thought most of the Junkyard knew that, they just didn't say anything!”

“How did you know? Is it some kind of magic?”

Standing up, Mistoffelees smirked.

“Oh, yeah, it's my favorite kind of magic. I call it my ‘gay-dar’.”

  
  



End file.
